Nostalgia

You're fucking her again
skin slick hands rough
smelling of booze
decadent and dangerous

I hate this
I hate that
you're touching her
when you should be
touching me

I never had claim
and even if I did
it lapsed forever ago

I wouldn't even mind
if it was an also
and not an instead of

Damn it but I miss you
Life gets hard
the bed gets cold
even with somebody in it

I prattle about sex not meaning
anything and mostly it doesn't
not when fucking is just bodies

But you had more than just my body
and fuck me I want what I gave you
back. When you left you took my
secret self with you.

I've been there all the time
curled inside you hoping
you'd notice me touch me
again so I could spring
forth and be branded
skin slick hands rough
decadent and dangerous
with you one more time