Death Defying

Perhaps I am a poor liar
but I am well practiced in deception.

In order to save myself I have:
feigned madness
offered my lips to the Devil
lain awake in sleep
while a strength I cannot lay claim to reached inside me.

I have pitiful weapons
only my small hands
quick mind
flexible conscience
protect me.

No matter how often I explain this,
that this is what it means to be a woman
weaker than your predator and helpless in your rage,
there is no explaining it.

So I will let him touch me
as long as I can bear it
and then I will "awaken"
pulling away carefully
a still and silent animal
careful not to arouse suspicion.

I am not a victim
but I am prey
and like any prey
I must use anything I can
anything at all
to evade capture.

And even though I am triumphant:
I have dissembled well and am safe
still I have not fought with righteous fury
and am condemned.